A case for falling in love again

Ishaan Gupta
3 min readMay 23, 2021

In my life, some of the trickiest bouts I’ve had have been with love. I believe that about the best thing that can happen to someone is falling out of love. Heartbreak is at the core of our lives. I might as well make this about arguing about the virtues of everything we gain when we lose at the central themes of our lives.

I’ve also been the one to make cases of looking at everything as a metaphor. You’re bound to be right sometimes. Even if the number of times your metaphors fit into the larger infrastructure of life may be minute. This metaphor here is, “Life is surprising.”

There is nothing wrong in a life lived by numbers. There is nothing wrong in washing oneself over with the rationalities of pessimism and look at the future as a continuation of the past. It’s reasonable, but rarely true. One of the reasons we’re doing so terribly as a human race is not because we don’t learn from our mistakes. It’s just that we’re very capable of making new things, changing the paradigm to the extent that it barely resembles to what it was in the beginning. Technology didn’t exist until a few decades ago. Social media is barely a decade old. Globalization is new. Hyper connectivity is new. Access to every breathing piece of information in the world is also one of a kind.

We could forecast the future only if we keep the variables of human curiosity intact. But that’s impossible. We cannot prepare for a future we haven’t created yet. That is to say that while we may solve some of the biggest problems of our lives today, it may as well be of no help in the face of problems that do not exist yet. Life is surprising because we’re the masters of disrupting patterns with our human spirit. We’re accustomed to showing tenacity against the absurdity of life and win.

Our personal lives are no different than the trajectory of Earth. We’re bound to grow into something we don’t have a clue about. Is heartbreak the gateway to our growth? Maybe not. But, it’s definitely a catalyst. It’s a unique experience for a soul to be passionately in love with something that takes cares of our deepest primal urges. Love — or the need of it — is wired into all of us. In many ways, after survival, the need to be loved is our strongest instinct.

When we get our heart broken, it puts in front of a seemingly harmless statement. You’re just as capable of being loved as you are of being stripped off of it. It’s always worse to lose something rather to have never had it in the first place. While we may lose a lot of things in life, the memory of the loss stays. It makes our sharper, more vigilant, it makes us wise. It makes us pessimistic.

And it’s important to have been pessimistic about things at least once. It serves as another experience that makes us wiser, but only if we get out of it. As human beings, we’ve got to be pessimistic about pessimism. We’ve got to believe that the absurdity of life works both ways and what we’ve been through — which may repeat again — is not our ultimate fate.

Of all the fights I’ve had in the resistance of the idea of being loved, there have been times where I’ve thought of calling it quits and give in. What I’m trying to say right now, is that you should not give in to love because there’s no other choice but to. I’m trying to tell you that when you look at the seemingly random and definitely unpredictable way of life transpiring in itself, believing in love is the most reasonable assumption of all. Isn’t heartbreak but a bitter lesson leading to self reflection?

Don’t end your reflection after looking at your past, even if it may be dormant in the heaviness of your heart. Revel in the knowledge that what lies in the future will always be a fairy tale to the past. Just like everything in your future may be feel utterly ridiculous to you, remember the one metaphor, may be the one that matters the most.

Life is surprising.

--

--

Ishaan Gupta

I want to help neurodivergent, high-achieving, creative professionals navigate consistency, productivity, success, and finding happiness as an adult